Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
