I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Randomize
