nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Randomize
