every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Semen is not good for contacts.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
