Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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