yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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