Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
