I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
