yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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