Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
