i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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