She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
