the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
