awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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