Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
