The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
