You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
