random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
