Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
