She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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