We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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