Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
