I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
