her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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