i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
