Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Dicks are not precious.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
