Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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