Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
