I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
