i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
