ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
