You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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