i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
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