erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
