i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
