Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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