I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
