trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
