weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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