Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
