i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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