This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
