i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Welp...herpes.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
