R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
