I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
