why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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