i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
