brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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