shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
