Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
