Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
