I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
