Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
