We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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