She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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