Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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