Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i wish my penis had a tongue
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize