She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The uberlube is also flammable
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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