Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
